So yesterday was my husband's first day in rehab, but of course I couldn't talk to him...so I just had to imagine. I called his Mom, and we talked for quite some time about him, and how he had come to this place in his life. She described him as a loner in high school (who wasn't?) and told me he always had a chip on his shoulder. But oddly, we agreed that he was, and is, one of the sweetest and most sensitive people we knew.
Then she asked me something that surprised me...she asked if I was going to leave him. I told her I loved him, and that I did not want to do that, but had certainly thought abou it. It's really, really hard to have someone lie to you so much and to keep that relationship afloat. I don't know if rehab will do anything for him, but I know that I don't want to spend the rest of my life policing him and worrying about the truth of every statement he makes. Right now we are on shaky, shaky ground. But I have to keep in mind that my number one priority right now is to get him back on track with his health, and to assist him in any way I can to manage his addiction. If he returns to his pattern of lying and secret drinking, I no longer believe I can handle it. His behavior is ruining my life. But for now, I'm giving him one las chance.
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